5 Steps to Surviving the End of School Year Chaos for Single Parents

As the end of this school year approaches, I find myself more at peace than previous years.

After all, every parent knows how hectic the end of the school year is.  For single parents, trying to survive is even more chaotic during this overwhelming time.

Depending on the age of our children, we are navigating recitals, tournaments, exams, SATs, awards ceremonies, class trips, college applications visits, senior events, proms and graduation ceremonies.

Our emerging adults present new challenges including moving them home from college as spring ends and the transition of living together under the same roof again.

This time of year is overwhelming for the intact two-parent family.  And for those of us navigating single parenthood, it is enough to push us over the edge!

The overwhelming end of year flurry of forms, tests, and activities often leave me feeling disorganized, overwhelmed and just a general hot mess!

Even during the school year, I am dropping and breaking plates as I manage the household, raise my kids and run my coaching business.

As a single parent, I often wake up questioning “whose day is it” and wonder if the kids are under my roof or their dad’s. Jockeying back and forth to ensure that the kids have what they need when they need it, is an endless and overwhelming task.

While there are no quick-fixes on how to survive the end of school-year chaos for the single parent, applying a strategic, step-by-step approach can make it manageable.

Here are 5 steps you can take to not only survive but manage the end of school year chaos!

1.) Get Organized - Know what approach works best for you

Lists used to be my go-to, but while I was responsible for so much, I found that I needed to put everything on the calendar.  If it's on the calendar, it gets addressed. I was also introduced to online platforms and apps like Trello, Asana, IFTTT, and Evernote which work better than my legal pad and pen for writing lists.

See which one works best for you. A friend of mine prefers sticky notes posted on her kitchen counter and stove top. Another colleague places things on the floor by the front door to ensure that he leaves with everything he needs for the day.  

2.) Be intentional about setting priorities

Check your motives and check in with your children. Use this chaotic season to help your kids make conscious and intentional choices about where they want to invest their time and energy (and yours).  What are the most important activities for them and what are their priorities.

This is a great opportunity to help your children get organized, make hard choices and learn that less is more. Rather than trying to be involved with every event or party, your children can learn to fully invest in what is most important to them and reap the rewards.

3.) Let go of the need to be perfect

Often, our greatest obstacles are the thoughts that we believe about ourselves. If you berate yourself for having forgotten that form or running up to the school right before the deadline, you are creating more tension and stress.

Work on being kind and gentle with yourself.  You will be able to manage everything with more peace and ease! As a recovering perfectionist, I have learned that it is okay to just do my best.

In fact, all we can do is our best.

4.) Enlist help

For many single parents, your co-parent is ready and willing to help, so don't be afraid to accept.  Let go of the belief that there is only ‘one way’ to do things (which generally is 'our way').

Invite mom or dad to take on additional responsibilities to help with this hectic time of year.   

Let go of the belief that you ‘should’ be able to handle everything on your own and enlist support from family, friends, or neighbors.   

Trust that it will stretch your ability to receive and make your life and your children’s lives calmer during this end of school season!

5.) Surrender the outcome

After all the preparation, commotion and wrangling to prepare for or arrive at the said event, Let Go of what you expected and Be With What Is.

This is a powerful lesson for all of us.

We can decide to give it our best effort and then choose to surrender to the outcome.

In doing so, we can be fully present and enjoy our time with our kids.  No judgment. No regrets. Everything is exactly as it's supposed to be.

Being a single parent is just one of the many challenges we face during post-divorce.  The best thing you can do for yourself is to ensure that you have the support you need to do your best.  

That’s why we have created an online divorce support platform for just this reason.  Access the emotional support, expert guidance and peer connection you need 24/7 at www.jbddivorcesupport.com!