Divorce, as we all know, is huge, life-changing and stressful. Conventional wisdom correctly states that, under such circumstances, we should surround ourselves with and seek the support of our loved ones. Whilst the care and distraction they provide can be of great comfort during this testing time, though, identifying which friends and relatives are best suited to providing us with the different kind of support we’ll need at different times in our divorce is essential to establishing the most effective support network possible.
So, when looking to establish a support network to help you get through your divorce, here are the five people you’ll need:
The caring and compassionate
There are going to be times during your divorce where you’re going to need some TLC and, when you do, you should lean on your most caring and compassionate friends.
Caring and compassionate people are great when you feel like you need some extra emotional support or just someone that’ll listen to you: never underestimate the importance of having a shoulder to cry on.
Sometimes, though, you’re going to need some advice that’s a bit more… factual!
The objective pragmatist
Maybe your spouse is pushing for more time with the kids or your lawyer has given you some advice you just can’t stomach. Whatever the situation, when you need real, honest advice, you need someone who’s not afraid to tell you something they know you probably don’t want to hear.
As tempting as it may be to seek emotional support at such times, it’s not going to benefit you financially or psychologically in the long run. By seeking the advice of a friend or family member who you know to be capable of real pragmatism, you’ll avoid drawing out your divorce and causing yourself unnecessary heartache.
The fun-loving optimist
Talking about your problems is absolutely essential during stressful times, but don’t forget that escapism is equally important. Sometimes, we just need to forget about our problems and have a good time – that’s where your fun-loving friends come in.
When you feel like you need to forget all about you divorce for a while, these are the friends you need to contact.
The reliable and dependable
During times of instability, you’re going to need to find a sense of normality and consistency. We all have friends or relatives who, whilst they not be the life and soul of a party, will literally drop everything when we tell them we need help. Trust me when I say that having people like this around during a divorce or any other emotionally testing time is absolutely invaluable.
The experienced (divorced) one
Having someone that’s already been through a divorce in your support network is hugely beneficial. Yes, this is partly because they’ll be able to provide you with advice derived from their own first-hand experience, but there’s something more important: they survived!
Sometimes, when we’re going through a divorce, we can feel like we’ve failed and the lack of familiarity can leave us feeling lost and susceptible to our most pessimistic thoughts. Spending time with someone that’s been there, done it and come out the other side unscathed will remind you that these thoughts are all in your head.
Guest Post Author Bio:
Jay Williams works as a case manager at Quickie Divorce, one of the largest providers of uncontested divorce solutions in England and Wales. He lives in Cardiff, Wales, with his wife and two-year-old daughter Eirys.