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When the Abuse Has No Bruises:How to Spot, Speak About, and Heal from Emotional Harm with Annette Oltmans, Founder and CEO of The M3ND Project

covert abuse divorce healing divorce trauma emotional abuse Sep 09, 2025

Abuse doesn’t always leave physical scars, but it always leaves an impact. In this episode of the Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast, I sit down with Annette Oltmans — survivor, author, and founder of The M3ND Project — to shine a light on the realities of emotional and covert abuse, and the all-too-common retraumatization that happens when victims seek help but are met with disbelief or dismissal.

Annette’s groundbreaking work on Double Abuse® gives language to what so many survivors have experienced but struggled to name. Together, we explore what emotional and covert abuse really look like, the risks of misusing terms like “gaslighting” or “narcissism” in legal contexts, and how to safeguard your credibility when telling your story in court or to professionals. We talk about why so many therapists, clergy, and attorneys still miss the signs of abuse and how you can begin finding the ones who truly understand. Most importantly, we discuss how to take those first healing steps with support that validates your experience and helps you move forward.

We also highlight valuable resources from The M3ND Project, including free guides, training, and tools designed to help both survivors and professionals respond with clarity and compassion.

If you’ve been struggling to put words to your experience or to find the right help, you are not alone. This conversation will give you insight, hope, and practical direction as you take steps to heal and rebuild your life.

Connect with Annette:

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

 

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