What Happened?

By Lisa Brick

What happened to that couple so enthusiastic to join their lives together?  How did it happen that there is so much anger, resentment, blame, and hurt that those aspirations are lying in tatters with all hope of redemption lost?

While it may not feel like it, arriving at this juncture may be one of the biggest gifts of your life.

How is it I have the chutzpah to suggest that an experience that is at times so painful, so devastating and so frightening can be a gift?  It comes from seeing what happens when individuals discover something very special during the coaching process.  They discover what they did not know they did not know about themselves that has been sabotaging their life.  This discovery, and the insight it brings is transformative. I’ll go as far as to say it allows you to become an alchemist, turning base metal into gold.  You begin to take the “base” parts of yourself you did not know were there and transform them into “gold”, a precious substance which is one of the premier energy conducting elements on earth! As you begin that transformative process you begin to conduct your energy consciously and carefully to create a new and glowing experience of being alive.

Some gifts hurt like hell, like the gift of a child. Pregnancy, birth, and the recovery from giving birth are no picnic, unless of course you include the insects, the rocks under the blanket, the spills, the possible rain, and the crumbs all over! An inheritance from someone you loved deeply is another gift that hurts, the gain coming by loss. Living long enough to reach the perks of “adulthood” is a gift that hurts, as you begin to understand the responsibilities that come with sexuality, automobiles, other peoples’ expectations and your own. The gift of the divorce process is such a gift, if you allow yourself to begin to experience it as such.

So how can you take the experience of divorce and begin to see the gift in it?

• Join a Journey Beyond Divorce divorce support group
• Find a support group in your area that focuses on divorce as a growth opportunity(remember growing pains?)
• Sign up for a complementary coaching session with a Journey Beyond Divorce Coach to see how one-on-one coaching provides you the opportunity to transcend self-imposed limitations and reach for a truly rewarding life
• Tune in to free Divorce Source Radio (www.divorcesourceradio.com) or other positive and future directed programs that assist individuals to grow from turmoil
• Begin to search out books that focus on the personal growth possible before, during, and after the dissolution of a marriage
• Surround yourself with people who empower you and your ability to assume responsibility for your life and future in a healthy way
• Become aware of ways that you are thinking that lead to suffering

All of these actions, if they are truly with others who know the path from suffering to freedom, bring you to the last bullet: Become aware of ways you are thinking that lead to suffering.