The First Step to Finding True Love

For many of us, it is hard to tell the difference between selfless, selfish and self-love.  We see our selflessness as a good thing, but is it?

Selfless is having, exhibiting, or being motivated by no concern for oneself

If you have always put family and friends first, self love will feel particularly uncomfortable. This is especially so when those closest to you are displeased with the thought of you taking time for yourself.    Those who depend on your selflessness will feel jilted and accuse you of being selfish.

 “Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting.” – Willam Shakespeare 

How do you begin to practice self love?  Ask yourself these questions…

1. When are you a priority?  If the answer is never, you need to look at why that is.  Look past your to-do list.  Go deeper.
2. Who and what is on that list and why do all those people and things take precedence?
3. What would it feel like to not only put your self on the list, but to make your self a priority?

If you could put time aside for yourself, what would that look like?

1. For starters, what would you do with an hour a week?
2. If an hour isn’t a problem for you, then how and where can you stretch yourself?
3. Do you always exercise, but never give yourself alone time, or time with a friend to connect and feel heard and validated or perhaps time to do something that you love, something that is ‘unproductive’?

Make a list of all the things you would do if you had the time and freedom to take care of yourself.  Prioritize them.

Next we will look at how to stretch yourself and begin to turn your selfless behavior into the art of self loving.

If this sounds like you or someone you love, please share your story with us.